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Funny Coffee Lover T-Shirt | "He Roasts, I Exist" Tee

$25.00
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TRAIL NOTES: The Ultimate Funny Coffee Lover T-Shirt

The Official "He Roasts, I Exist" Funny Coffee Lover T-Shirt is the perfect way to pledge your allegiance to the dark, rich, bean-fueled arts. Conquer your day with **The Grizzly**, our bold and powerful dark roast, which serves as the essential fuel for expeditions, quiet solitude, and commanding your focus. Move over, Michelangelo. Step aside, Shakespeare. There's a new master of craft in town, and his name is DAVE THE ROASTER. This isn't just a shirt; it's a movement. A statement. It’s the sartorial equivalent of that perfect first sip of coffee in the morning.

Featuring the now-iconic #davetheroaster hashtag (because legends need hashtags), this tee is your direct line to coffee-cult greatness. The shirt acts as a beacon for those who appreciate the skill, dedication, and precision required to turn raw green beans into your favorite daily fuel. Show the world you know who the real MVP is: You support the beans. You support the heat. You support Dave.

The Comfort of a Thousand Perfectly Roasted Beans

The **He Roasts, I Exist** T-Shirt is designed for the maximum comfort and longevity that a coffee connoisseur deserves. We focus on premium material quality to ensure this Funny Coffee Lover T-Shirt withstands the constant wear of daily brewing, tasting, and adventuring.

100% Ring-Spun Cotton: Unparalleled Softness and Durability

This unisex garment-dyed t-shirt is the perfect blend of comfort and style, made from 100% ring-spun US cotton. This is a superior material compared to standard cotton: the ring-spun process continuously twists and thins the cotton strands, creating a much finer, smoother, and softer rope of yarn. The result is a high-quality fabric that is exceptionally soft—so soft, you’ll be tempted to use it as a pillow (don't, it looks too good)—while remaining significantly more durable and less prone to tearing and piling than standard open-end cotton.

Garment-Dyed for Rich, Lasting Color

The shirt is garment-dyed, a process where the completed t-shirt is dyed after construction. This technique gives the fabric a rich, slightly washed, vintage look and ensures minimal shrinkage after the first wash. This is key to maintaining a consistent, comfortable fit over time. We offer the shirt in 58 vibrant, rich, garment-dyed colors—because your wardrobe should be as varied and exciting as a complex single-origin brew. This makes it an ideal, personalized Funny Coffee Lover T-Shirt gift.

Design Details and Ethical Commitment

Every element of the design reinforces both your passion for coffee and your values as a consumer. This Funny Coffee Lover T-Shirt is not only comfortable but ethically made.

  • Two-Sided Branding for the Coffee Cult: The shirt features bold, high-visibility branding on the front declaring your allegiance. The back features the subtle, sophisticated logo from Les Cheneaux Coffee Roasters/Lone Bear Coffee, so you can nod to your roots while the front screams your fandom. This two-sided design makes the shirt versatile for any occasion, from the cafe counter to the campfire.
  • Ethically Sourced US Cotton: We believe in supporting responsible and sustainable practices. The 100% ring-spun US cotton used is ethically sourced through processes that prioritize environmental and fair labor standards. This commitment ensures that your comfortable, high-quality t-shirt is one you can feel good about wearing.

Fit, Gifting, and Longevity

The unisex fit is designed to run true to size, offering a comfortable, relaxed feel suitable for all body types. It makes this the easiest item to purchase online, guaranteeing a great fit and immediate comfort.

The Perfect Gift for... Literally Anyone: Got a friend? A family member? A nemesis you want to confuse with your superior coffee knowledge? This tee is the fantastic gift for birthdays, holidays, or that very specific occasion: "I finished my coffee and now I need a personality." The wide size range and versatile garment-dyed colors make it the go-to Funny Coffee Lover T-Shirt.

Unisex Sizing Guide

Use the following measurements to ensure a perfect fit for this comfortable ring-spun cotton coffee tee:

Size Width (in) Length (in) Sleeve Length from Center Back (in)
S 18.25 26.62 16.25
M 20.25 28.00 17.75
L 22.00 29.37 19.00
XL 24.00 30.75 20.50
2XL 26.00 31.62 21.75
3XL 27.75 32.50 23.25
4XL 29.75 33.50 24.63

FAQ

Where does Lone Bear Coffee source its beans?

We meticulously source our beans from top-tier, quality-focused farms around the world. We feature three main regions: Guatemala (Huehuetenango) for our dark roast, Brazil (Minas Gerais) for our medium roast, and Costa Rica (Central Valley) for our light roast.

What is the philosophy behind Lone Bear Coffee?

Our philosophy is simple: Adventure Fuel. We believe the best cup of coffee is the one that powers your next adventure. Whether you're summiting a peak, setting up your basecamp, or just planning your next outdoor escape, our hand-roasted blends are designed to be the perfect companion.

Which roast is best for my morning ritual at the campsite?

It depends on your preference!

  • For a smooth, bold start: Try The Grizzly (Dark Roast).
  • For a balanced, easy-drinking cup: Try Basecamp (Medium Roast).
  • For a bright, vibrant, high-elevation boost: Try First Light (Light Roast/Daybreak Blend).
Can I use Lone Bear Coffee for a cold brew?

Yes! Our Basecamp medium roast is exceptionally popular for cold brew. Its balanced, low-acidity profile from the Minas Gerais region of Brazil yields a rich, naturally sweet concentrate perfect for packing on a long trip.

What is the difference between your three roasts (First Light, Basecamp, and The Grizzly)?

First Light (Light Roast): Bright, high-acidity, with complex notes—perfect for pour-overs. Source: Costa Rica.

Basecamp (Medium Roast): Balanced, smooth, and versatile—our everyday favorite. Source: Brazil.

The Grizzly (Dark Roast): Bold, smoky, and intensely rich—ideal for those who need a serious wake-up call. Source: Guatemala.

Do you offer both whole bean and ground coffee?

Yes, we offer both! To get the freshest taste and best results on the trail, we always recommend buying whole bean and grinding right before brewing. However, we are happy to grind your coffee for your preferred brew method (e.g., French Press, pour-over) if you note it in your order.

How do I keep my coffee fresh when camping or traveling?

Our bags are designed with a one-way valve to keep oxygen out and freshness in. Once opened, be sure to reseal the bag tightly and keep it in a cool, dark place. For longer trips, consider packing your daily portion in small, airtight containers.

When should I expect my coffee to ship after placing an order?

We believe in shipping the freshest coffee possible! We roast, grind, bag, and ship all orders within 24-48 hours of receiving them (Monday–Friday). You will receive a tracking number via email once your adventure fuel is on its way.

What makes your packaging suitable for the outdoors?

Our robust, sealed bags are designed to protect the flavor and aroma of the beans against the elements—whether it's the humidity of a valley or the cold of a mountain pass. They are durable, resealable, and pack down easily once you’ve brewed all the goodness.

Do you offer a subscription service for regular adventurers?

Yes, we do! Our subscription service ensures you never run out of your essential adventure fuel. You can customize your order frequency (weekly or bi-weekly) and easily change your preferred roast or delivery schedule anytime through your online account.

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